So, you are a foreigner guy and you’d like to meet some Medellín women? The culture here in Medellín makes it quite different than what you’re maybe used to. For your convenience, I collected 11 Medellín dating tips to increase your chances to make a good impression with Medellín women, and also to avoid some frustrations during your first dates.
(And if you are looking for a more complete Medellín dating guide, I recommend this one.)
Why Would You Want to Date a Latina?
Tastes and colors vary, but many tend to agree that Colombia is one of the places to find some of the most beautiful women in Latin America. And many would also say that Medellín is a great city to find beautiful women in Colombia.
But let’s not just talk about physical attributes. Dating a Latina for me is quite different because they have an intensity… in their look, in their way of dancing, of caring, of loving.
The arguments can also be more intense, but the relationship is rarely flat, boring, and life with a Latina can be charming and addictive.
It’s probably what you look for too, this “alive” feeling when you’re with a Latina!
Sometimes things can go unexpected. And you can forget about the clichés that locals are falling for foreigners… as you will have to work for it if you want to date a Medellín woman.
Ready to get started? Here are 11 Medellín dating tips:
Dating top #1. Where to Meet Women in Medellín?
Everyday life is a great way to meet women in Medellín – in shops, malls, the streets, the metro, supermarkets, cafes, universities and many other places are all good ways to meet women.
But meeting in person can be more difficult than online as you can’t hide behind a screen, it’s more ballsy, but this is real life (WYSIWYG for my developer friends).
And if your relationship turns out to work, you will both feel relieved to not have met online when your family will ask you “So how did you meet?”…
Also, keep in mind that women in Medellín (and the rest of Colombia) prefer to be approached by men. Approach with a smile and start speaking. In general, Paisas are receptive and most are interested in talking to foreigners.
Nightclubs will be more complicated in Medellín than in your home country. Because, Colombian women are there to dance, that’s what they do in nightclubs. Many don’t drink alcohol, and if you try to speak to them, asking them what they do in life etc., they won’t be much interested to chat with you as… they’re there to dance!
Furthermore, women that go to nightclubs normally go in groups and there will typically be some Colombian men in these groups. Penetrating these groups can be difficult and you will need some Spanish.
But you can also learn to dance and you can ask them to dance. It’s relatively easy in a nightclub to go up to a woman and ask or gesture for them to dance.
And you should try to get her WhatsApp number if you can and contact her the next day to actually speak around a coffee or something. And if you don’t have WhatsApp, get this app on your smartphone ASAP. This app is ubiquitous with Medellín women, almost all women have it.
Dating tip #2. Using Dating Websites and Apps
There are several dating websites and apps used by foreigners to meet Medellín women. Probably the most well-known is Colombian Cupid.
Tinder is also pretty common in Colombia – as in pretty much every place – which is great for the shy ones among us, but that also means more competition. Another alternative app is Happn, which is less popular but which can also maybe “convert” a bit more as it’s less spammy.
There are probably more than these three out there, but I believe these are the most popular.
Consider your profile on these dating sites as a piece of marketing, and differentiate yourself! I heard many women saying they were tired to see the men’s muscles, so maybe go for pictures with more clothes on.
As a side note, some “working women” use these sites and apps to get “clients”. Worried about this? Don’t worry, it should be pretty obvious when a woman leaves her WhatsApp number on her profile, when she shows pictures in a bikini or lingerie or when she calls you “papi” right away. 🙂
Dating top #3. Clothing Recommendations
Colombian women are beautiful – they know it and they’re used to getting attention. If you’d like to check it out, head to Parque Lleras on a Friday or Saturday night, and just walk around.
You’ll see that indeed, there is a lot of competition between women and they’re doing their best to be pretty, and oh God they are.
So, if you plan to wear shorts, socks and flip-flops, or just that backpacker style who may have forgotten to shower, most chances are they will totally ignore you. Flip-flops are OK on the coast but not in Medellín if you want to meet Medellín women.
Put yourself in their (fancy) shoes… why would they pay attention to you if you don’t pay attention to yourself?
You don’t need a suit but get some jeans, as Medellín is not a beach town.
Dating tip #4. Get Your Spanish Up to Speed
Colombia is far away from English speaking countries. And a majority of Colombians in Medellín only speak Spanish.
So, try to learn some Spanish, at least to be able to keep a simple conversation as many women won’t speak English… And if you can’t communicate, you’re making it way harder for you. Obviously the more Spanish you speak the easier it will be to communicate with women that don’t speak much, if any English.
I would suggest getting a head start with an app like Duolingo, to discipline yourself to do at least 15-30 minutes a day for a month or so, and then get 5-10 hours with a private teacher to actually speak some basics. You can find teachers in some cafes around Parque Lleras, already giving classes to foreigners. Most charge about 30,000 persos per hour for a personal class, meaning about $10/hour.
Or if you are serious about learning Spanish enroll is a Spanish program. Universidad EAFIT in Medellín reportedly has the largest Spanish program for foreigners in Colombia. In addition, a university can be a good place to meet women!
And on top of learning Spanish, which makes it easier to meet woman, you will support a Colombian Spanish teacher!
Dating tip #5. Be Aware of “Grillas”
No offense intended to anyone, this is just a note to be aware. A few women in Colombia (this isn’t limited to Medellín) are reportedly known as “grillas”.
A grilla won’t ask you for money. But she will expect you to buy her dinner, drinks, and maybe also to buy her friends some drinks during the night… then you might be able to take her to your place. So, you’re basically “buying your way there” a bit more directly instead of the most common and slower way of flirting and getting to know someone that you are more used to.
How would you recognize a grilla from a regular woman? “Grilla” means a libertine, promiscuous and exhibitionist woman, so you will recognize that. She will also be more on you, more touchy, closer to you than you would expect, but she won’t make any direct financial ask.
Dating tip #6. First Date Recommendations
For a first date I would avoid a dinner as a security measure. This is in case there is really no mutual feeling. So, it’s best to not spend two hours and some cash on a lost cause.
Best to go for a coffee in the afternoon or a drink at night. We previously looked at six good coffee places in El Poblado, which would all be good places for a first date. Or Mercado Del Rio is another good place as there are so many choices there.
Also, don’t be surprised if your date shows up with a friend on a first date. She may do this to feel safe or her parents may require this.
A tip for you: before you meet, tell her that you actually have another appointment or something else to do about an hour later.
This way if it doesn’t work, you already have an excuse to leave… And if it works, just “cancel it because you like her company” 🙂
Dating tip #7. They Likely Won’t be on Time
What to do? Honestly, I don’t want you to miss a date because you arrived an hour later and she didn’t. Because she probably won’t wait much, so it’s best for you be there.
But to avoid getting frustrated, you can simply go to the cafe/bar where you have your meeting, and do as if she won’t show up.
Weird? Maybe. Efficient? Yes.
Fancy a drink? Have a drink. Want to do some work while waiting? Send these emails, just as you would do on your own.
This way if she contacts you half an hour after your date was supposed to start that she will be late, you won’t feel frustrated to have wasted your time and be pissed off when she finally shows up.
And if she doesn’t come – yes that can happen too – you won’t have wasted so much time just waiting.
Dating tip #8. Take the Initiative, But Stay a Gentleman
Machismo is common and women are used to it. So, it would be best if you have a place to go in mind for your first date, so that you’re taking some kind of control of the situation. Pick a public place so that she will feel comfortable to join you.
As for the gentleman part, I have heard that some Colombian guys sometimes forget to be that way after the first date. So, you can grab some easy points there by using classic moves such as opening the door for her.
Turning off your phone is a suggestion that I’m adding there, nothing specific to the Latin culture but I feel that’s part of being a gentleman and generally respectful.
Don’t try to kiss her on the first date… it rarely happens, as the first meeting is to get to know each other, right? Second date is different as you both decided to see each other again, so the interest is there…
Dating tip #9. Who is Paying?
So, you’re in a continent where machismo is quite set… and even though women could do with less of it, it’s still the culture in Colombia that guys will pay the bills.
In Colombia (not just Medellín), the women expect the guy to pay. Now again, it doesn’t have to be with everyone, but expect to always pay for the first dates. However, it’s possible (but rare) to find some women that will offer to split the tab or even pay the entire tab.
It can also happen that the woman expects you to pay for her taxi. This can turn out to be quite an unusual situation for someone you met online when before even meeting her in-person you need to pay her taxi fare…
In the case when you have a woman asking you for money or to buy her things, then it’s most likely a good idea look elsewhere.
Dating tip #10. She Might “Measure Your Oil”
“Medir el aceite” means that a few woman will test you… Not all women do this. And this is not a generality and is not meant to offend anyone. But it’s something I struggled with when I started dating in Medellín. And since I seem to have found out what to do, I’d like to share the two examples below with you.
In the Colombian culture, it seems there is a certain tendency to “go for the drama” in some situations. Sounds weird and the reasons are still a bit vague to me. It may be due the violent past of the country or the overwhelming success of the soap operas, but in any case, it’s there.
Machismo is really present too, and I guess women need some reassurance that you actually care for her… They obviously won’t support cheating, but they would like the fact that you behave somehow manly.
Anyway, in my experience, a few women will test you and your ability to stay firm on your decisions… Basically a few women will go for drama and can drive you nuts.
And they’ll do that not a few months into the relationship, but from your first or second date. Let me give you a couple of examples:
Text delay example
She sends you a text message, you answer her immediately. She doesn’t answer you for an hour. Then again, she sends you a text message, you answer her immediately. Sorry for you, now she’s losing interest in you.
How should you react to this behavior?
At first and as an occidental culture guy, you just feel it’s respectful to answer her quickly, to not make her wait… but here is the problem:
If you’re answering right away you’re losing points because she will see you as someone in need, someone at her orders, someone depending on her.
She knows she’s pretty, and she can get many men… so she’s looking for a man that is independent, who basically doesn’t need her.
So, when she sends you “hola como estas?”, you answer “bien y tu?” right away, and she then takes an hour to respond “bien gracias a Dios”, take another hour to reply to keep the balance right. 🙂
You invite your date to dinner. Once you’re both sitting with the menu in your hands, the woman will tell you that she doesn’t feel any more like eating this kind of food, that she would like to go somewhere else. You’re surprised because it seemed like a good idea for both of you just moments ago.
You have two options here:
- Either you tell her that it’s all good, comply with her whim and change the restaurant to one that best fits her changing mood. But there you’re losing, and she will think you’re weak…
- Or you stand firm, say that you’re already here and that’s the only option there is, that there is no way to move and that she better pick something to eat now. In this case, she might be frustrated for a few minutes, but then she will respect you as a man she can rely on, that doesn’t bend much on her whims…
Again, not all women will act this way – I don’t want to offend anyone here, this is not a generality – but in my experience this type of behavior is more common in Medellín compared to what you can find in your native country.
Dating tip #11. What to Do If Your First Date Went Well?
Sharing outdoor activities is a great way to create new experiences… which are much more memorable than having a drink somewhere. And that will make you more memorable, so don’t hesitate to go out of the city to a park, paragliding or anything like this!
The Bottom Line: Medellín Dating Tips
Medellín is a wonderful city with much to offer including it seems like countless beautiful Medellín women. I put together this list of Medellín dating tips based on my own experiences and the experiences of my friends.
I hope this article will help you make the right moves and make the right decisions in your Medellín dating adventures. And maybe you’ll start dating a woman in Medellín and discover this sweet and exciting flavor…
In addition to the dating tips in this article, Dating Medellín has an excellent Dating Medellín guide. And if looking for online dating, then check out Colombian Cupid, which is reportedly the largest online dating site in Colombia.
Sign up for the Free Medellin Guru Newsletter – You can see all of the previous Medellin Guru weekly email newsletters and sign up here.